


Missing You

by Taciturn



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Angst, F/M, Pining, vocalic lipogram sans the letter between t and v
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-12
Updated: 2017-09-12
Packaged: 2018-12-26 21:25:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12067257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taciturn/pseuds/Taciturn
Summary: Missing her was the hardest part of his trip across Eos.





	Missing You

Ignis was startled to alertness from his dreams. It wasn't the first time this had happened in the dead of the night. He sat, ramrod straight from the spot he slept, and glanced over towards the place that he expected her to be. He worked to calm his breathing from the frantic pants that had initially jolted him to his state of awareness. That was when he realized that, once again, she wasn't there. Ignis sighed and laid himself back on his bedroll to stare blankly at the tent's wall while he waited for sleep to once again take him into the land of dreams where he knew she'd be waiting for him.

At least a few months had passed since he had left, and he still felt her fingers softly ghosting over his skin in hopes he'd relax after a long day. Somewhere in the distance, he swore he heard her singing to the rising moon as he hastily drove to the closest safe haven when evening began to set in. As he cooked dinner, he smelled her favorite spices mingling in the dishes he made for his companions. She was with him in every aspect of his travel, and it pained him to know that he wasn't able to reciprocate all the little things she'd done for him to stay sane on his trip.

One day, he'd have to come to terms that she'd never be there while he was traveling on this road trip tied to his obligation as Royal Advisor. He knew this; however, there were still too many nights he'd vividly dream of the time he left their shared bed. These dreams only escalated his hopes that the life he lived now was only a figment of his imagination. The nightly fantasies only reminded him of the distance that kept growing from the place he called home. In those long nights of missing her, he'd fondly reminisce how many times he told her he loved her in order to fall back asleep. Of the things which let sleep drag him back from the shores of being awake, it was the recollection of those last few days of being together that he always went back to. In his mind, he'd tally all the times he told her he loved her in hopes that if he repeated the mantra of those three words over and over again, he’d be able to travel back to her in his dreams.

Oh, how those simple words felt too heavy to fall from his lips in those last few days.

Three days prior to leaving, and he already missed her. There was a festival in town; and he let her lead him by the hand, weaving between the crowds at her favored pace. She had been adamant that he had to spend his last few days with her, living life as if he didn't have the weight of the world to carry. He wanted to protest, wanted to promise her that he'd only be gone for a little bit; however, she wasn't one to listen to his reasoning. For all she knew, he'd come back a changed man. She wasn't a patient person, and she wanted the here and now to last forever. The least Ignis was able to to do was entertain her wishes. He wasn't one to openly express his emotions; however, letting go a little at the festival was an exception he was willing to make in order to keep the image of her smile engraved forevermore into his mind.

It was only early May; however, she had already made it clear that she was more than ready for fall and winter to sweep in. She had worn the dress he adored the most on that day. As hot as it was, he barely noticed the heat as she passed all the people to bring him to her favorite carnival mini-games and food stalls. As the day passed and gave way to evening, she started playing a game of finding the best place for him to view the fireworks.

She had settled on a grassy knoll, kicking her shoes off and giggling as the grass tickled the bottoms of her feet. He tried his hardest to memorize every detail of her as evening swept in and the sky was lit with the boom of fireworks for a cheering crowd of festival goers. She had a balloon tied to her wrist which bobbed to the tempo of the carnival melodies in the distance that she danced to gracelessly while she wished for the night to last forever. She slipped on the grass more than once into his waiting arms, and he'd then lead her into a slow waltz in hopes she felt how desperately he needed to stay with her. Her smile, her warmth, her soft giggles at the slightest thing that she adored, all of these were a necessity in his life. So he took the time that night to breathe deeply in order to remember her scent as the distant echoes of fireworks reverberated between his heart and hers. How he regretted forgetting to tell her he loved her that night.

Two days before he had to leave and he was already yearning to be back from his trip. If memories from the night before were ingrained in his mind, then the recollection of the morning after lingered on his lips. His mornings with her almost always involved a steaming pot of Ebony and gently poached eggs. To his dismay, she'd giggle while she popped the yolk, watching with glee as it oozed across her toast. Her fit of giggles only got worse as she fiddled with the salt and pepper shaker, placing them in the wrong place; yet he didn't have it in himself to contend her. With the fact that he might never see her again, there was no reason for him to disagree with her on where the condiments belonged on the table. It wasn't time for him to depart for work yet; however, he already wished he was back in her arms, holding her close, telling her he had missed her.

The reality of how long he'd be away slowly sank into his body as he watched her happily eat her breakfast while he tended to his rapidly cooling Ebony. The steam rising from the dark brew fogged his glasses for the briefest moment, and he feared that the moment he was trying so hard to memorize was all a dream. He sighed into his drink when his vision cleared and saw that she was looking at him with a worried expression on her face. "Didn’t sleep well?"

"I'm fine. A little tired maybe"

"Then take the day off," she advised nonchalantly.

"I can't do that."

"I know." Her crestfallen face broke his heart into a million tiny pieces that sank to the bottom of the bitter brew in his hands. He downed the last dregs in one go. As fate dragged him away from her to a distance far beyond his reach, he hoarded what time he had left in order to replay over and over again for the times sleep evaded him owing to the fact that he was deprived of her presence beside him.

"Maybe next time..." she said, taking her empty plate to the sink. "I gotta get going. Have a good day at work too, okay?"

"Okay."

"Promise?" she whispered with tears welling at the corners of her eyes when she realized a slow day at home wasn't possible.

"Promise."

How he had wished he had been reckless in that moment to call in sick, so he had the ability to wipe her tears away for the rest of his life and tell her the many ways he loved her.

The fated day arrived too soon, and he barely had the willpower to kiss her goodbye. He had contemplated leaving in the dead of the night, so she didn't have to see him cry. However, imagining her own tears made his heart ache; and he forced himself to stay as long as possible. He waited for dawn to crest over the horizon before gently kissing her awake. She groaned, rolled over and asked for more time to sleep. He let her sleep in while he made breakfast. When she finally pattered in, he had presented her with the best eggs he had ever made.

As expected, she commented on how good everything was. The only difference were the tears that flowed freely from her eyes while she ate. He didn't have it in himself to comfort her. Any words he had to offer only felt empty as his heart was in that moment. He held her close, forgetting his daily coffee in favor of drinking in her presence as the rest of his morning passed in stilled comfort.

"I'll be fine. Promise..." she said between sobs.

"It'll be okay, promise," he said in an attempt to comfort her.

"I know... Stay safe for me."

"I will. I promise."

"Good. Come back to me in one piece, okay?"

"Okay."

How he now constantly wished that he had remembered to tell her he loved her before she gathered her things to leave for the day. How his heart ached to reach for her and keep her with him. How he wished for too many things that he didn't have the time for. So instead of sleeping, he drew his own constellations and wrote love letters to her in his mind while he waited for sleep to finally claim him.

His responsibility to make it to Altissia with his charge seemed to extend for all eternity. The world passed too slowly as the wheels of fate favored those with more blessings than he. Instead of boring meetings to pass his days, his life was filled with dirt in his nails and the stench of sweat on leather seats as he and his comrades challenged the fate of the world. All he had left to keep him moving forward was the whispered promise he had made to her before he left.

_I promise I'll be back. Wait for me._

He wished he had remembered to tell her how missed her like he missed falling asleep easily at night before he left.

  


**Author's Note:**

> In case you missed it, this was written without the letter u as a challenge to myself. I hope it worked out okay >w<


End file.
